Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Initial Home Study Interview

         Today, Lee and I had our first home study interview with our social worker. We decided to have Jewish Family Services do our home study because we got so many wonderful recommendations from people who have used them. Our interview was only suppose to last about an hour, but it ended up being 2 hours. She asked if any one of us was adopted and I told her that I was. She said that was so wonderful because 9 out of 10 birth parents prefer one of the adoptive parents to be adopted. She said that the birth parents feel that that gives a connection between the adoptive parent and the child.
         Everything went very well. We talked about how Lee and I met, and why we went the adoption route. She asked about which agency we were thinking about and we told her about the one in Utah. She said that that one was a good one and she has worked with families who adopted from there (which was a plus).

         Like I said everything went well until we went through the paper work and she talked about everything that we needed. It was all doable until she said that she needed 5 letters of recommendation which 2 of them had to be from both sides of the family. Well, for those of you who know me there is no side of the family on my side. I really did not want to bring up my situation about my adoptive family because I didn't want anybody to put that against me. I know I am a good person, my family (on Lee's side) knows I am a good person, and my friends know I am good person, but on paper the judge and the agency see that I haven't spoken with my adoptive parents in almost 13 years because they were not good people might judge me and think that there might be something wrong with me. So I looked at Lee and started crying. I saw this as an obstacle that I might not be able to overcome. Just when I lost hope, my sweet husband briefly explained to her what kind of adoptive parents I had. Then when I looked at her to see her reaction, she was crying....with me. I was relieved. I knew then that we had chosen the right agency to do our home study. She told us that unfortunately not all adoptions have happy endings, but what I overcame had made me a stronger woman. It didn't hold me back. That situation will actually make me a better parent than most. She told me not to worry about that letter of recommendation and that my parents (Lee's parents but now mine too :) will just explain in the letter what happened. I already have great people who have known me a long time lined up to write the other letters of recommendation. far what we have set up with the social worker is:
                     on September 15th at 9:00 Lee will meet with the social worker at 9:30 for the individual interview
                     Then that afternoon, I will meet with her at 4:00 for my interview.
                     Then on September 29th we will have our first home visit. She said that all living at the home must be present...meaning Lee and I and.....our 4 pets!!!!! Ha! Ha! She said that my dogs and cats also have to be present. Oh heaven help us. I hope it's not going to be a mad house. We will need to have a come to Jesus meeting with all 4 of them.

So in the mean time prayers need to be continued. We are so excited that this has finally started. We discussed as a family ( Lee, my parents, and I) that we will be choosing the Utah adoption center as our adoption agency. Lee is going to ask them a couple more questions before our final decision, but I think that will be our agency. Hopefully we will be done with our home study in about 3 months, and by then I hope we have our portfolio for the birth parents finished and who knows in a few months we will have a baby Raney in our home!!!!! Let's all pray for that!